Talking on the phone with Dharma Buddy last week prior to his return to Colorado for three and a half weeks, he suggested that we do the Lemonade Master Cleanse. For those not familiar with this extreme fast/diet, it means consuming nothing but lemonade with cayenne pepper and maple syrup for days on end. Supposedly very health-enhancing.
“No frickin’ way!” was my knee-jerk response. We talked a bit, and I agreed to consider it.
I slept on it, and journaled, and pondered – and, to be honest, recruited evidence from several friends that I did not want to do this. The next day as I was getting ready to eat lunch, I noticed that my salad – normally a nourishing delight – was not all that appealing. It was 11°F and snowing outside, and I wanted something warm and comforting like soup. I imagined the prospect of only lemonade, and suddenly my salad was much more interesting. I sent off an email to DB with a counter suggestion.
Which is how I got myself into this: a seven-day detox starting on Saturday. Already, I’ve eliminated alcohol and caffeine, and cut down on wheat, dairy and meat – mostly without physical symptoms.
What has started to show up are some old patterns I thought I had “handled”. Last night I was hungry later in the evening, and noticed that it felt like more than just physical hunger – there were the added tinges of desperation and craving that I have only experienced when restricting food. Are there little beasties in my GI system that are not getting fed the way they are used to?
I declared up front that this is not about weight loss for me; it’s about exploring what my attachments and assumptions are, to be curious and fascinated by what shows up, to try out a different way of eating.
And already, this morning, I woke up unusually hungry. My impulse was to jump on the scale, and I noticed that the number wasn’t particularly satisfying. Noticing the patterns of thoughts and beliefs and responses. I could commit to not weighing myself, and that feels like a closing down, when what I’m wanting now is to open to it all, to experience it all, and be curious and fascinated by it all.
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